Finally we're together, let's start this new life

 Anyone can hear me? Mom? Anyone? Help me, please! Here inside it is an earthquake happening, I’m very scared! At first I only felt like something pressing me once every ten minutes, but now it is faster. 

In the outside there’s a lot of people screaming. I think I had identified my grandparents calling for a doctor, and mom is frightened, like having spasms and crying due to the pain. Doctor made her lay down like when she sleeps, and at that moment I realized myself that I’ve lost the water I was living in. I have to go away and search this water, I can’t live without it!!

Mom is screaming very loud. The pressure on me is very high, I can’t stand here no more time, I have to go, but, where? 

Instinctively, I know what to do. It’s strange, because it’s like by nature I know what I have to do: taking advantage of mom’s contractions, I break through, hoping that I can quickly find again my water, my amniotic liquid. Instead of this, I saw literally the light at the end of the tunnel, trying not to pay attention to my mother’s shouts: I have to concentrate to pass between this narrow space. Surprisingly, all happened faster than I thought it was going to be. 

Everything was very confusing, and while I was trying to ignore what nurses was telling my mom, I finally put up my head at the outside world. The rest was easy: without any complication, I suddenly get outside. 

I don’t know why, but I started to cry. Actually, I can’t stop crying! All my little body is shaking, and everyone around me looks alleviated. Nurses didn’t spend too much time to accommodating me on my mommy’s arms. Then, I dared to slowly open my slanted little eyes. Now, I’m seeing a big smile and two big eyes crying alone with me, but not because she was sad: she was very happy, she was excited! On that moment, when I saw my mother’s smile, I stopped crying and changed my facial expression to a shy smile. I couldn’t talk, but my face was saying: hello, mom, I’m finally here, with you.

A frilly jersey prepared for me

 Wow! You maybe won’t believe me, but literally I’ve turn around myself on mommy’s body! Now I’m facedown, and something tells me that is an indicator that I’m going to go outside in few time. 

Lately, there are happening a lot of things: mom says that, as she watched on her ecuhocraphy, I’m chubby, and that makes me adorable for her. If she says that, I will believe her! Listen at what happened today: I had already told you about the existence of my mom’s mom, but, she also has a father! It’s pity sad because I don’t have one, but I’m grateful by what mom’s father said: “He won’t be alone while I’m here, in this world. I’m going to make him forget that he doesn’t has a daddy.” Strangely, those words doesn’t made mommy very happy, because she answered: “Dad! He can hear you! Don’t say those things on front of your grandchild!” 

And then he answered back: “But I didn’t said it with bad intentions! I mean that this boy, Isaac, is going to have the best grandfather of this world!”

Sincerely, I’m confused: there are words that I don’t understand very well. I think I will when I go outside, or at least, I hope so!Lately, mommy was alone and started talking to me. “And you, little boy, how are you going to be? I’m very excited. Your dad was very active, so I’m sure you’re going to be a restless baby. I just plead you to let me sleep a little bit at nights! I’ve got a friend, Selena, that has a three years little girl. We think that surely you’ll be very good friends! She’s a little bit tomboy, but, sssshh, don’t tell Selena this because it will make her angry because she doesn’t want to recognize that her girl is hoyden. Although, she’s lovely and you will match very well as friends. By other way, in my family we have all been from generation by generation bookworms, so I’m sure that you will practically born with a tale on your hands!

Oh, Isaac, I didn’t told you… my mom, your grandmother, has knitted a frilly jersey for you…It’s truly ugly, but she was very excited with the idea of seeing you with it put it on. So, sorry beforehand, you will hate me when I show your baby photo’s album to your first girlfriend and this frilly jersey on you will make her laugh. 

I will go to school!

 I’ve been feeling several days ago how my skeleton is harding itself. It must be a good sign, but I don’t stop thinking that this maybe can make mom to feel uncomfortable. The outside part of my body appears to be not longer wrinkled, but it also now is smoother. 

Today I discovered something new: I don’t have just a mother, I’m supposed to have a father too. I’m not very sure what that means, but according to what I’ve heard my mom needed my father’s help to have me inside her. Remember me to question mommy how does that work because I don’t understand what a father has to do with all this. By the way, I think I’m not going to meet the man that I should call “dad”. My mom has explained to me that he’s a coward and didn’t want to know anything about me when she told him about my existence. That makes me feel sad, but she doesn’t look like she’s worried about it as I do. She is so happy for having me that she doesn’t mind not having my dad near her. 

I hope that someday I can meet him, because if I don’t, I could not live with this uncertainty in my life. 

Talking about other things, my mom and I have gone today to talk with another woman that is mommy’s friend. She’s working on a place called kindergarten, and she looks like she knows a lot about children. My mother hopes that I can go to that school, because she loves the way they teach, especially how her friends do. Mommy has learned today more ways to teach me more things, apart of flashcards. She is preparing a lot of games to play with me, so I can learn something called position prepositions: “Isaac, listen: when you grow up a little, you will place yourself in the room and I will ask you if you’re under the desk, on the chair, near to the door, etc. And maybe we could climb a level up and make you say the whole sentence, then you practice grammar too! Do you understand?”

Honestly, no, mom, I don’t understand you, but you will keep talking like if I did, so continue doing it because I love that you’re making plans to do with me on a near future! 

She’s going to play with me sticking on my forehead a piece of paper with something written and she will make mime until I figure out what word do I have on my face. She thinks this is a very funny and ludic way to teach me some words.  

Mom has taken this ideas from her friend, and she won’t wait to kindergarten to play with me this games!

Mom starts teaching me about outside world

 Hello! I’ve got fresh news for you! I heard the doctor saying that now my size is approximately  25 cm and my weigh is around 300 gr. My mom thinks that I’m going to be a strong and tall child, and I believe her. 

By experimenting with myself I’ve noticed that I can move my little legs and my hands –I don’t know yet what are those “large shapes” that I told you because I’ve been hearing very concentrated every word the doctor said–. I’m having fun here inside! I can suck my little fingers, and move legs and arms to avoid mom forgetting  that I’m here. And, don’t miss it! Now I can make somersault! My record is about a triple somersault, I’m going to practice to impress my mom with a lot of somersaults when I get outside. She will be very proud of me, I’m sure. 

I think I have been here for five months, or, at least, that’s what the doctor said. I don’t know what kind of measure are those “months”, but this is being eternal for me! 

Mom has been talking to me today, listen what she said: “my little, I’m very excited because today I have felt your heart beats, this is very emotive for me. I have also continued searching names for you, and I have found the definite one: Isaac. Do you know what it means? It is “God’s laugh”, isn’t it beautiful?

I am so nervous and excited that I am already searching for games and activities to do with you! Now I know that I’m going to teach you simple vocabulary with flashcards, teacher’s blogs show that this method is very effective with kids! It’s a pity that you can’t see the crafts I’ve been preparing for carrying out this game. Well, it doesn’t matter, listen! When you get out of where you are you can see the flashcards, but now you have to imagine what this words mean: yellow, green, red, blue, pink, black, white, purple… this are color names, and now I will teach you some animals: rabbit, dog, cat, horse, crocodile (I hope you never stumble upon one of this, sincerely!), and there are more! I will teach you all by going together to the zoo, I promise you.

 

Racking my brain

 I’ve noticed that something is on my head that tickles me. It’s very curious, how useful can this strange fuzz have on my incipient life? Oh, I have discovered another thing. I was bored of sleeping and relaxing myself, so I started to play with my new body and, surprise! I can move by myself! Little by little, the place where I am is being smaller, so I feel more cramped. This is why I used my tiny legs to call mommy’s attention to tell her: “Mom, here inside is so small for me, could you take me out, please?”

But she didn’t answer like I would have liked. By the way, she said: “Oh my God, my little boy, you are very active! Maybe you will be a great football player!”. After that, she laughed and run to tell her mom that I was moving inside her.

When I heard that, I stop moving: what? I didn’t understood any word mommy’s said. Football? Player? What? I’m very confused: at first, I was a baby, then I was a boy, and now I’m a whatever football player means? Mom, please, clear up yourself about what I am! I'm racking my brain trying to find out some logic on what is happening here.

Mom, do you feel me?

 I have  noticed over the last days that my basic form has been created already, and my intuition tells me that from now, I’m going to develop the body parts that I also have. The ball I have on top of my trunk it’s very big, and I’m glad that I float on this amniotic liquid, because if I didn’t have it, I think that this big ball would be very heavy to support. 

Something on the front part of this space has opened for a second, but I've just seen darkness. After that, those membranes or whatever it is, have closed and don’t look like they are going to get opened again. I question myself what is the use of all these new things that I have on me.

How could I imagine that those things will help me in the outside world if now I think that I eat by my belly bottom thanks to my mom feeding? 

I also told you that I discovered large forms on top and bottom parts of my body, which look like completely formed, I’ve just discovered that I have another extremity between the other two, but I can’t move it. It’s funny for me, it’s like a new but little third leg that floats by its way. 

I question myself again: can mommy feel how I move my tiny fists? I hope so, I’m impatient for attracting her attention to me. 

I feel something strange on the hole that I have on my face, like something is growing inside.

Everyone talks about me!

 Today I’m going to tell you what I heard of outside world: my moms mother is more relaxed and not so angry with my existence. She looks like she tries to help my mommy, and now I feel like she’s pleasing me more than weeks before. They get together to the doctor, who is a person that doesn’t stop talking about me. I’m famous! Everyone talks about me! 

One day I felt something very cold on me. I mean, not literally on me, but on the top of the place I’m inside my mom. I was relaxing myself when suddenly, she screamed, but not like another times that was angry or sad. I heard her like surprised and happy. She said: “It’s a boy, I’m going to have a little boy!” 

I’m confused, then, what am I, a baby or a boy? I will question her when I go outside because I’m disoriented about my identify. 

After that emotional moment, I disconnected for a long time for take a break. After that, I get up because mommy was talking, but she wasn’t talking with anyone of her world, she was saying things to me! 

“My little boy, how are I’m going to call you? What do you thing about Tom? Oh, no, my ex boyfriend was called Tom. I also like James, but I feel like you deserve something more special, because you’re the most special thing that had happened to me on my life. I can’t call either way to you, because you’re the person that more happy had ever made me, and I even don’t know you! But I feel like so. I’m going to think about how to call you, it’s late, I’m going to bed, but tomorrow I will look on the Internet for boy’s names.”

I didn’t understand everything he told me, but her voice made me felt very happy, relaxed, sure and loved. 

Let's gossip what happens outside

 As I said before, I'm static on somewhere mommy's body, adhered to a warm and comfortable place where, in a way I can't explain because I don't understand it, I'm being nourished. My mom is incredible, she's my heroine! 

You won't believe me, but I'm growing up very fast! Look, now I'm forming something tender inside my head, and because I am very sensitive I feel connexions on this strange mass I mentioned. I've got two hemispheres on it, and something tells me that this week is crucial for my process. Even my intern organs are very little, they are finally formed. Now it's like my body it's growing up from inside to outside. Little by little, there are large things appearing on my body: two near my head and other two on the bottom part of my small figure. It stills being a mystery what useful can they have, but even so I am very happy. 

I'm not when I hear people screaming to my mom. It's curious because she calls them mom and dad too: how can it be that my mother has also one that is hers? I think I'm not welcomed here, like I'm doing something wrong being here. But if I don't make any noise and I don't disturb anyone! 

Sssh, wait, I hear them talking again. Oh, it seems like I disturb my mothers parents. They tell off her of being reckless and thoughtless. They don't stop repeating: but if you are only 17, how are you going to have a baby!

I don't really know what "having only 17" means. Only? Seventeen looks like something very large, but I don't know what they mean with seventeen. 17 what?

Mommy is crying again, and I would like to tell her that I love her, but I can't even move by my way, I feel impotence because I can't do anything to comfort her. For a long time she has been saying "no, I won't" to her mother (I don't know very well from who's the grave voice I hear). I wasn't understanding nothing when she talked about something called "abort", but I was very scared when she clear up my questions saying: "No, mom, I'm not going to extract and kill my baby". Even if I am frightened, I'm very glad my mom defends me. 

My little trip

 It's amazing, I'm growing up very fast. Now my body measure is of almost 5mm, and it's been extending, I like it! It seems like I'm taking form. Sometimes the place where I am tenses because my mom feels arcades, and I would like to say her: mommy, you are squashing me, don't have nauseas! But I think it's something that she can't control. 

My impression is that is very strange my mom knows I'm here yet, because I am very small and I can't draw her attention because I still being very little. I hope that, when I go outside I will be bigger, because otherwise I will very frightened. From what I heard, everything seems very big and complicated out of my mommy's body. 

By the way! I was waiting to tell yo-- Hey, hey! What's happening? I'm moving, but I don't want to! Who is taking me?? And if get apart of my mom? I couldn't live without her, why am I moving? 

Oh, okey, I have lowered a little and now I'm static. Well, all the static I can be here, you understand what I mean. I think I have settled definitely in somewhere's mom's body place. 

Ugh, what's this?

 I would like to say hello like nothing had happen, but today I felt very bad here inside. Suddenly, after my  mom stops crying because of a hard discussion she had with someone else, a venomous gas entered where I am. Well, it doesn't passed my protective layer, but it wasn't necessary for feeling absentminded and having strange body. If I wouldn't everyday floating in amniotic liquid, I had said that I felt like flying –more than normally I do, I mean–. 

I think mommy isn't good. All her body has been shaking for a long time, while she felt so stressed and upset. But I also felt like something was being freeing from her inside. By the way, I don't know very well if when I said "inside" I'm referring to her body or something else, like something more deep than just a physical reaction. Do you understand what I mean? Actually, I don't. Everything is new for me, and it's difficult to cover al that is happening in and outside. 

Continue with what I was saying at first, after that strange and stressing body shaking of my mom... You maybe call me crazy, but I'm very sensitive and I felt something new and unpleasant on the adipose tissue of the zone that surrounds my little home. 

I've stand very quiet to notice every mommy's movement, and it was so strange, because she had breath very deep, like inhaling all the oxygen of the outside world. Nevertheless, it wasn't air what entered on her lungs, which had expanded and, a little time after, all her muscles were like very relaxed. But... too much relaxed. Through the channel I receive my food, today it had a strange sensation with it that made me felt very bad and dizzy...

I would like to say to my mom that everything is okey and everything will be alright, but it couldn't happen this way if she makes me ingest strange essences that aren't good for neither of us. 

I've got a mom!

 Hello again! I don't know what you have been doing until today, but I've been growing a lot. I've got a new thing inside me: a little but powerful device that makes "boom, boom". Since the 16th day it has been forming on me, and from it are arising very thin springs. When that regulary explosions pumps on my chest, it's like some warm liquid goes through all my body. But I think I'm the only one that knows this discovery I made, because even if I think it's obviously, nobody of outside world has noticed it. 

My form has been extended and I appreciate new parts on me that are incipients, emerging on several portions of myself. I'm a little bit bored here outside, so I spend most of the time trying to hear what is happening on the outside. Thanks to sound waves I can receive in a better mode the news. The most I hear is a high-pitched but sweet voice, but recently her conversations with others are not so sweet. 

I've been noosing around and now I know that everyone of the thing I first thought that was my recipient environment, are disagree with my existence. Me? But, what have I done? I would like to scream that I have no fault of being here inside, but they all talk like I'm an horrible mistake that can be resolved easily. That makes me feel very sad, or is my mommys feelings? I said mom because after hearing a lot of conversations, I discovered that I'm not on a receptor, I'm inside my mother, because I'm her child! I'm very excited since I knew that. Isn't it beautiful? I can't wait to know her, because, for what I've heard, she's the only one that wants me in the world, in HER world. 

It's hard to explain how can I feel sad, but I think it's something that my mommy  does unconsciously and without intentionality, she can't control it; I can sense the physical sadness, and even I've feeling a special connection with her, it's an emotive connexion. 

Excuse me, do you know where am I?

 Eww...hello? Is someone there? I don't know very well what am I doing here. It's dark, and a little viscous. Sometimes even I feel movement!

I had been here for ten days along, but looks like it's going to be so long, I hope not lengthy! I'm not yet a blastocyte, now I'm an embryo because my cells have been divided into two membranes: one of it is for my new house, the amniotic sac, and the other one is like a protective layer for me. 

Right now, in this viscous liquid I am living, feels like I'm floating! And like I've said, sometimes whatever is outside of my house, moves and produces sound waves; I'm not so accustomed to this strange situation yet. 

I don't have no time notion! I just associate calm and relaxing time when whatever is behind my amniotic sac is sleeping, and activity when the outside wakes up. 

I'll still informing about this strange but emotional situation, I think that the end of this process will be the beginning of something beautiful!

You maybe could be asking yourself why do I know what is happening here, inside where I am. I forgot to tell you my best way to understand this strange process. I've got an infallible weapon that helps me on this adventure; I'm maybe so little and small, but I've got an incredible memory chip called ADN, which is the short way to call the deoxyribonucleic acid. That Tonge-twister chemical term is basically the way I am genetically codified. I'm not very sure what means that, so I'll be on the lookout of whatever I can hear from the outside world that can explain what is that genetic that I'm supposed to have on me; I will keep you all update!